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Totally fake Tech predictions for 2012

Its easy to put yourself out there, like some tech industry folks do, and just whip out a bunch of thoughts about what could possibly happen in 2012.  And, its even easier to look back at the end of the year and say, “Oops I missed that one by a mile.”  No big deal – I said “prediction”.  But, its easiest of all to totally make up a bunch of stuff, based on things we *wish* would happen, things that really annoy us in tech and should already be better, and those things that we may have been promised, time and again, that are still the dangling chads of our IT existence.

Here’s a few totally fake tech predictions from me for 2012, i.e., things I’d love to see happen, or are just so totally nonsensical they could actually turn out to be true.  Have some of your own?  Drop them in the comments.

 

Adobe secures their products and keeps promises

This one would definitely take the world by storm in 2012.  Can you imagine a world where the word “Adobe” doesn’t send an IT person into a state of rage and explicative rant?  Adobe is one of those companies that you just have to deal with.  They have long promised to fix their enterprise installation routines and inject their updates into ConfigMgr’s software updates catalog. Every once in a while you see a glimmer of *something* happening on that end, but then it dissipates shortly before another product security vulnerability – yeah, frequently.

 

The Cloud becomes useful to everyone and lives up to the hype

Nah…not going to happen in 2012.  I could say so much on this, but I’ll just leave it alone for now.  In reality, the Cloud could be useful in specific situations, but the hype and marketing fluff has ruined the value and “clouded” the prospects. With System Center Suite 2012 (from Microsoft), the Cloud will, at least, be well-managed, no lie, but…

Truth is:  The Cloud is the Internet. The Internet is a network. The network is connected by cables…

I just killed the Cloud

 

Windows Phone reclaims the smartphone lead

Seriously.  I would LOVE to see this happen.  But it will take an act of God for this to happen anytime soon, if it ever happens at all.  I was a long time user of Windows Mobile going all the way back to the original Casio (Cassiopeia) HP (Jornada) and Compaq (iPAQ) devices (before they were phones).  Loved them, and because I loved them I hung on dearly as a sort of fanboy.  Even after the original iPhone released I clung tight, but I hung on way too long.  Finally disgusted, I switched to Android a couple years back and have been using that OS ever since (for smartphone and tablet, btw). 

But, honestly – I would love to see it happen. I’d love to go back to using a Windows phone.  But, c’mon…the interface looks like the side of the Partridge Family bus, which, incidentally, also looks like Windows 8.

Model for the new Microsoft operating systems?

How long until David Cassidy sues Microsoft? – hmmm…maybe that should have been the title of this fake prediction.

 

Barney Frank introduces law to ban pop-up advertisements on all web sites

Personally, I don’t particularly like Barney Frank, but if he introduced this law and it passed?   Whew, boy, the bulk of the entire Internet-traversing world would vote him in as President for the next term.  There would also be quite a few web sites that would have to basically shutdown for a period of time to rearchitect their entire web presence to comply.

Vendors…web banners really don’t work anymore.  Those tech sites selling you ONLY web banner placement are selling you a bill of goods.  They are annoying and much on the same level as Adobe (see previous fake prediction).  Sure, you see web banners on myITforum.com, but we do something completely different.  The web banner is only about 1% of what we actually do for our sponsors and advertisers.  There are huge, huge additional benefits.

So, if it would happen…jump on the bandwagon now…

BF is my BFF

 

Apple admits to doing nothing spectacular

10 years ago, Microsoft had the tablet PC.  I owned and used a convertible one from Gateway and loved it.  The tablet market died.  Not because it wasn’t a good idea, just that people were NOT ready for it.  10 years ago, Microsoft had a good smartphone. Time passed them by.  Timing is everything, after all.

You can’t fault Apple at all – for anything.  They simply released the iPhone and iPad at the exact right time in tech history.  But, still – come on, treat it for what it really is.  Apple did nothing spectacular.  If you look at the specs and features of the original iPhone, or even what the iPad offers now, Apple prettied up old tech and sold it as new tech.  Don’t believe me?  Click to view the larger image here:

Tech improvements?

P.S. That’s an HP tablet from 2003.

 

Microsoft acquires RIM, merges with HP

This one is tough because it’s a prediction that contains two components that actually make a LOT of sense.  Microsoft needs a hardware manufacturer for their smartphones. Yeah…in the end, it could be Nokia, but we’ll see.  The rumor mill has burned hot over the years about a potential Microsoft acquisition of RIM.  Who knows?  This could actually happen.  RIM will NOT survive 2012 without being acquired by someone.  Oops…did I make an actual prediction?  So sorry.

You might think the second half of this prediction is curious.  Hmmm…but there are pieces out there, if you look hard enough, that can be put together to complete a potential merger picture.  Microsoft is “all in” with the Cloud.  That’s evident.  HP has put considerable effort behind positioning themselves as the Cloud’s hardware manufacturer.  If you were at MMS 2010 and 2011, Microsoft and HP marketed together quite a bit during the keynotes.  I’m sure Dell was none too happy about that.  Did you see that Dell started their own tech conference this year?  Hmmm…

A match made in...court

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A community professional, keynoter, and evangelist who has driven social media and marketing strategies, editorial successes, delivered customer successes and built some of the largest and longest-running online communities. Rod has created, managed and grown small, medium, and mega-sized conferences; run entire editorial teams to deliver record traffic and market leadership; as product manager, directed the success of hundreds of product releases; supported sales and marketing to ensure customer success; developed, run and sold businesses; written thousands of technical articles, white papers, case studies, and technical documentation; hosted and delivered hundreds of attendance shattering webinars and virtual tradeshows; and delivered keynote speeches and sessions at a wide variety of events including conferences, webinars, events, and user groups.

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