So I went to a friend’s house for dinner and we got to
talking. The Wife says to her husband “tell Paul about your sleep test.” So her
husband starts…..I went and they hooked me up to some stuff and watched me
sleep. I slept for a solid five hours which is the most I have in years. I’m
thinking, what’s his problem. He can sleep. What I wouldn’t give for a solid 5
hours of sleep. So we continue talking about all sorts of stuff. And then The
Husband says, Hey, why don’t you tell Paul about your sleeping problems. I seem
to be everyone's shrink:)
So she starts….I have “Restless leg syndrome” I wake up
every 5 minutes when my leg twitches. Then her husband says “tell him about the
spider” So she tells us about the time when she saw a spider in the middle of
the night and jumped on top of her husband which caused him to grab the gun and
flashlight and walk through the house cop style. And then he tells us about the
time when she punched him in the face when he was sleeping without even knowing
it. So I say….um, I would pay to see you do that sleep test with your wife in bed
with you! No wonder he can’t sleep. His wife wakes up every 5 minutes and kicks
him or punches him in the face or see’s things in the room causing him to grab
the gun. I can picture him sleeping with one eye open with his hand hovering
over the gun twitching….