My Flight home….
So I’ve read a lot of stories about flights home from San Diego. I had a funny story about my flight although not as crazy as some.
I got in a cab with Lemons and Da Don. We had so much stuff with us that one suitcase and a box of swag that Lemons had went in the front seat. We had to make sure that the cabbie shut the passenger window so the stuff wouldn't fall out. We got a block from the hotel and I turned around to realize that the trunk was open. The three of us had the “oh no not again” look on our faces. We had already had a most adventurous cab ride in SD. The cabbie pulled over to shut it and promptly took off again. We drive another block and it pops open again. There’s no way we can get anything else in the cab so the cabbie had to get the trunk shut. He pulled over again and finally got it shut. I think it was the same tourist that helped us shut the door in Old Town that that sat on it to shut it.
I got to the airport Saturday an hour and a half before my flight. Only to find out that my flight was delayed. I get in line to check my bags because I desperately wanted to unload them. I get almost to the front when an employee yells out “if you’re flight’s been delayed and you have to grab another flight, you need to leave this line and get in that one" (pointing to the other longer line). I reluctantly move to the other line only to realize when I looked back that I was the only one to move. Right then and there I looked in a virtual mirror and saw a rather large “L” on my forehead. I submitted. I wasn’t moving again. Well I should have because the line I used to be in moved twice as fast as the one I was in.
I get to the front of the line where the attendant told me that the flight was going to be on time. I think great! At this point I just want to get home. I check my bags and get in the longest security line I’ve ever seen. It looped around and went down some hallway. I’m thinking, now that the flights on time, I’m going to miss it. Fortunately the line moved quickly.
So now it starts to get interesting. Apparently they told the crew that the flight was going to be delayed, SO THERE WAS NO CREW! So the flight’s delayed again. Two hours later they find a crew (feeling really confident now….not). At this point it hits me that I had a two hour layover in Phoenix and my flight was delayed two hours. You do the math. To make matters worse I’m in the last row of the plane. This will become very important later.
The flight to Phoenix was uneventful. We land and the pilot makes an announcement that if you don’t have a connecting flight please stay seated so that those that do can get by. Now I have a glimmer of hope. I stand and proclaim “I HAVE A CONNECTING FLIGHT.” Most of the passengers turn around and chuckle “SO DO WE.” #$&(*#$#$(!!!! One of them asks what gate I have to get to. I tell him and he laughs while saying, you might as well sit. There’s no way in h3ll you’re making your flight. It’s 2:55 and you have a 3:02 flight. That’s not how we roll (I think). I’m making that flight.
So I make my way to the front of the airplane and fly to the gate. I start running like O.J. Simpson in that 70’s commercial, jumping over chairs, bags and people if they were in my way. I spot one of those carts that they shuttle people around in and run alongside asking “Where ya going?” “Terminal A” the guy says. Without asking I jump on in stride. I say “Me too” The people that were on the cart look at me like I just stole their newspaper from their driveway three days in a row. Not that I’ve ever done that. Just sayin:)
I swear that some people are just stupid. They stand in the middle of a walkway starring and drifting off into space while we scream and beep the horn. Mott knows where they're from:)
So we start to pass my gate so I jump off without giving the guy a chance to stop. Now I’m standing in front of my gate and notice that the door is shut! I scream out “I’ve got to get on that plane!” They say “who are you?” I scream out GONZALEZ! At this point I’m huffing and puffing with sweat dripping down my face. They say, “We’ve been waiting for you.” They open the door. I believe this is against FAA regulations but I’m not complaining. As I run past them I yell out, “My Daughter thanks you!” and then find my seat. Everyone is now staring because I think I’ve held the flight up. The people behind me are talking about me in a loud Boston accent. I stand up and give them the evil “Da Don” look. They hush. The veins in my neck are popping out. I’m not even playing.
That flight was pretty uneventful as well. I land in Logan and go down to baggage claim not even thinking that my stuff will be there. I’m the last man standing, feeling like the last kid picked in a dodge ball game. Remember if you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a ball.
My stuff showed up Sunday morning which ended a “Most excellent adventure.”