Ron Crumbaker sent me a message asking where I’ve been and
it got me thinking. I have been out of the loop for a while since my Vegas trip.
I’ll get to the stair dilemma in a second.
Where have I been?
Since MMS in Vegas I’ve been on a few camping trips, 2 weeks
in California (one week working at La Costa and one week vacationing), One week
on Cape Cod, Ma (Day trips to Province town and Martha’s Vineyard) and a week
in Chicago. As an aside, we went to
Buddy Guy’s in Chicago and he was actually there signing autographs. Besides
that work is still nuts since we went public. Lots of work to do. So that’s where
I’ve been. Too busy to post to the list. Just trying to get things done. But I
digress….back to the stairs. Don’t try this at home.
I bought a few frozen pies (pizza’s) at the local club store
and was attempting to go to the basement to put the pies in the extra freezer.
I started walking down the steps in the dark. I never turn the lights on. I’ve
lived in this house for 15 years. I know where I’m going…….right. Half way down
the steps I missed one. And then I missed the rest or that’s how I remember it.
I was in flight by then, spun around and landed at the bottom where the stairs
take a right hand turn. That’s when it happened. I landed on the corner of the
banister with my back side. Left cheek to be precise. I’ve never felt that much pain without
actually breaking something. Playing tons of sports as a child and as a young
adult I’ve broken plenty of things. Not quite like Evel Knievel, but enough to
know what pain is. I screamed out as loud as I could which made my Daughter
come running down the stairs. She asked if I was OK. I said NO! Please put away
the pies baby. Wasn’t her fault:) The first day it looked like Mars from afar.
The second day like Mars up close. Now a week later it is completely purple.
THE ENTIRE CHEEK. STOP LAUGHING! I can finally sit down. Every place we ate on
the Cape I had to sit with one cheek on the chair. It made my vacation really
uncomfortable to say the least. Click on the link at the bottom to see pics of
my vacation. No, not the butt pics. Nice ones. I will say this in closing.
Comedy’s hard but does it have to be so painful?
http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j121/pgonzalez4/Cape%20Cod%202008
So we board finally. Only to find
out just as we’re about to take off that we’ve been delayed another 2
hours at a minimum. It’s for our own safety I guess. They apologize and tell us
to get comfortable (always a bad sign) and that they’re going to show us a
movie. A chick flick no less. I could almost deal with that because it would
put me out for a nap were it not for the two screaming babies behind me. Now
don’t get me wrong, I love kids. I completely understand. It’s just different
when they’re not yours and we’re stuck for hours on end on the tarmac.
So for now my tally is;
3 trips to Chicago in the last 12 months with a combined
total of 12 hours delayed on the tarmac…..and counting…..it ain’t ova!
So I’m sitting here at Logan waiting for a flight to
Chicago. My flight"s been delayed an hour (so far). Surprise!!!! It seems that
everyone but me loves Chicago. No wonder. I’ve never flown in or out of there
without some sort of delay or problem. One time I was on the tarmac for 3 hours
and another delayed a grand total of 6 hours between the tarmac and the
terminal. I talk to people here and they say….”Oh yeah, that always happens”
What? Are you kidding me? I thought it
was just me.
Oh and now United wants and extra $25 for the second bag.
Screw them. I was going to check my MMS 03 bag and carry my MMS08 back pack on but
now both are with me. The 03 black bag with attached back pack will go in the top compartment and the 08 back pack under
the seat in front of me. Oh yeah and it's like 100 degrees in here!
Am I the only one that has more MS luggage than any other
:)? So far I’ve had my tooth paste and shaving cream taken from me (I forgot
because I was supposed to check that bag). Charged $13 for a cheeseburger and fries,
flights been delayed by 1 hour and I almost paid $25 for the extra bag. I haven’t
even left Boston yet. Must check return flight!
So I use Outlook Express for all of
the lists that I belong to so I don’t bog down my Exchange box with a lot of
clutter. Since I sit across from the Exchange guy, I don’t want my name coming
up on any reports about usage. Hence the use of OE.
I recently noticed that Spell Checker
is weird. Weird suggestions, telling me every word is wrong, etc. So I decide
to check it out only to discover that the language is set to French and there
are no other choices. What? Since when? I use my trusty friend Google and
discover that it’s a known problem after installing Office 2007. Who knew? My
only option was to install a 3rd party spell checker. That worked. I guess you can’t test for everything. I’m
sure no one else has Office 2007 and Outlook Express 6.
The mark of a true friend is not
whether or not they’ll buy you a drink when you’re down or even talk to you
when you need to be talked to. The mark of a true friend is whether or not they’ll
go to the store and buy you underwear when you need them. As the story goes……
We were in Las Vegas last week and
it was hot. Although I live by the motto “the hotter the better” it kicks off a
touch of OCD in me. I shower often when it’s hot. 2 or 3 times a day because I
have a thing about my twigs and berries being clean. I know, I’m nuts! A side effect
of this is that you go through underwear quicker than you thought you might. I
started the week with 14 and was almost out of them by day 5 with 3 more to go.
So by the time “Da Don” showed up on Wednesday I was already complaining about
being out of them. So what’s this all about you ask? Ask yourself this. What
would you do for a friend in this situation?
I was sitting in a session when my
phone vibrated. I look and I have a txt from Da Don (Mike Mott) He asks….wait
for it…….What size? I’m thinking OMG, he isn’t. I tell him and he asks Boxers
or briefs? Now I’m beside myself. It was hard to contain myself. So I answer
(for those of you wondering) boxer\briefs (now you know :) He says “OK, I’ll
see you in a bit” Turns out he walked 3 or 4 miles to buy me underwear. They
were $60 for 6 which was interesting but I now had enough for the week. So now
not only does he watch HBO in his underwear with me but he actually buys me the
underwear that I’m wearing when I’m watching HBO. That’s a true friend. I tip
my cap to you Mott. So I ask you……what would you do for a friend?
Soooooo, there’s a guy that rolls with us on these junkets
that we all know and love. He’s a Shrek like fellow. So, since I didn’t get a “disclaimer”
from him about his name he will hence forth be known as “Shrek”
Well, one morning we were entering a breakout room for a
session. There were a few of us there who will remain nameless to protect the innocent. We stroll into the room totally unaware that
our collective lives were about to change forever. We look around trying to
decide where to sit since we were early and had the run of the place. And then
it happened. The unmistakable sound of a bomb being dropped on an unsuspecting town
in the middle of nowhere. Booooooooooooooooooombs
awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! It could not be taken for anything other than what it was.
It was audible. In fact people that didn’t know us scattered as well. We looked
like cockroaches in a NY deli scattering after the lights went on. We were all
screaming his name. Shrreeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkk! OMG. We were horrified. And yet
it was like a train wreck. We couldn’t stop looking and laughing a nervous
laugh. Like. “Are we going to make it?” We dusted ourselves off and found
seats completely spread out so he couldn’t take us all out with one mighty
blast.
Fast forward to the evenings activities. We were at the
outdoor bar having a few when John G decides that a new breathing technique was in
order. “Breath out he says” We all nod and learn the new way to survive….I mean
breath. We had a sense for when it was about to happen. He seemed to get this
weird look in his eye so we tried warning people. Ben showed up with his Wife.
She didn’t know us so she thought we were “normal” I tried to warn her otherwise.
At one point I mouthed “run away” but
she didn’t heed my warning. And then it hit her. She had this look in her eye
that even I couldn’t explain but one thing is for sure. She “got it” For the
rest of the evening we were like chess pieces being moved around a magic board
with Geppetto as the chess master. And
so the legend of Shrek is born. If you should find yourself next to him at a
fine Las Vegas establishment or anywhere else in the world, pay attention. Don’t
take anything for granted and for crying out loud, kiss your children……
Many of you have seen a jpg of black socks floating around
the OT list. You may have wondered what that was all about. Well I’m here to
tell you.
One night in Vegas I left the bar early to get to bed. The
last thing I remember was getting a meatball sub at 4AM at a Subway shop. It
was good too. Well around 5:30-6AM Mike Mott turned up because he was staying
with me. No HBO this time. Well when he entered the room all of the lights were
on and I was laying spread eagle on the bed in my white tee, drawers and black
socks. My mouth was wide open and he “claims” I was snoring:) Oh, and red sauce
on my chin. Quite the site I’m sure. He should have taken a pic but I’m glad
that he didn’t.
He yelled out “you’re in trouble young man for leaving all
of the lights on and the door wide open!” Somehow I ended up under the covers with socks removed. I didn’t do it……
So I went to a friend’s house for dinner and we got to
talking. The Wife says to her husband “tell Paul about your sleep test.” So her
husband starts…..I went and they hooked me up to some stuff and watched me
sleep. I slept for a solid five hours which is the most I have in years. I’m
thinking, what’s his problem. He can sleep. What I wouldn’t give for a solid 5
hours of sleep. So we continue talking about all sorts of stuff. And then The
Husband says, Hey, why don’t you tell Paul about your sleeping problems. I seem
to be everyone's shrink:)
So she starts….I have “Restless leg syndrome” I wake up
every 5 minutes when my leg twitches. Then her husband says “tell him about the
spider” So she tells us about the time when she saw a spider in the middle of
the night and jumped on top of her husband which caused him to grab the gun and
flashlight and walk through the house cop style. And then he tells us about the
time when she punched him in the face when he was sleeping without even knowing
it. So I say….um, I would pay to see you do that sleep test with your wife in bed
with you! No wonder he can’t sleep. His wife wakes up every 5 minutes and kicks
him or punches him in the face or see’s things in the room causing him to grab
the gun. I can picture him sleeping with one eye open with his hand hovering
over the gun twitching….
We took our Daughter out to dinner last night for her 9th
Birthday. She chose "Naked Fish." It’s a great place with great food and awesome
Cuban music. We gave our name at the front door and were given a pager because
it was a 25 minute wait. We sat for a few minutes when I see a rather huge guy
walk in with a young Lady. He is also told that he’d need to wait to be seated.
He reluctantly decides to go to the bar.
He returns 5 minutes later angry that he has to wait to be
seated. Mind you there are 3 groups of people that were there before him watching
this happen. One of which happens to be
my family on our Daughters Birthday.
That’s when it happened. He actually said, “Do you know
who I am?” My jaw dropped. I almost laughed out loud but I didn’t know if
he was carrying. You never know. He didn’t look quite right. He starts to go on
about being the one that handles all of the Naked Fish’s properties. He now
wants to see the manager. At this point I’m thinking “remain calm” cause I’m
really going to be pissed if this tub of lard gets a seat before us. The
Manager comes out and I hear him explaining that it’s “first come, first serve.”
Now the guy is beside himself. At his
size, half the place was gone!
Finally one of them points to us. They take us to our seats.
As we walk past him I throw a Cheshire cat smile at him. What a piece of sh%t
this guy was.
I tell the guy that seated us that I had never seen anything
like that before, thinking that he was surprised as well, but he says, “nah, we get that
daily.” What……
Earlier
today (I think….) TT boom said “it made me want to sell all of my guitar stuff”
(or something like that) and it got me thinking…..What would make me feel that
way about my Drums? So the search was on….
I found
some JDS! (Jaw dropping shat!)
There’s a
bunch more but I doubt many of you got this far. It was fun looking for this.
So I went to a Celtics game a few days ago. Yeah, I was one of the 16 people there but I digress. After a few drinks one of my associates tells us a story about the last time his Fiancé left the apartment for a long weekend.He had a few of the guys over and one of them, after a few drinks decides that it would be a great idea to get some strippers over for some “entertainment” They all have some laughs and more drinks but then the night came to an end.Not wanting to get caught, he spends hours cleaning the apartment because his Fiancé was returning in the morning. The Fiancé returns the next morning after a long drive and heads straight to the bathroom for obvious reasons.She quickly leaves the bathroom, comes out and screams “what the @&#^ happened here last night?” It turns out that in his cleaning he missed one key bit of evidence. There was glitter everywhere! How many people do you know that where glitter? My friend made up some story that I can’t remember about what actually happened and his girlfriend bought it. I don’t think she did but she moved on anyway. So kids, the moral of the story is……..IF YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE A STRIPPER AT YOUR HOUSE, DON’T FORGET TO CLEAN UP THE GLITTER!
Some guys have all the luck…..
I tripped over an invite to the Red Sox-Yankee game tonight at Fenway Park. The ticket is for a seat in the EMC luxury box. Those are great seats! They’re not the small wooden seats that are throughout Fenway Park. They deliver the drinks and food right to your seat. Not only that but did I mention that it’s for a Red Sox-Yankee game with Kurt Schilling (2-1, 2.84 era) pitching against Andy Pettitte (1-0, 1.50 era).
With the rain we’ve had since I can remember, it will be awesome to be outside on a nice day. This will truly be a nice day……….I think. Ask me again tomorrow morning :)
So, I got a call last Wednesday that my Mother in law had fallen at Fox Woods and broken her hip. My Wife was at a class. She goes to B.U. at night and I didn’t want to pull her out of class to tell her. I sat her down when she got home to tell her, so the saga begins.
My Wife spent Thursday making arrangements for treatment, rehab, etc. Her Mother’s 85 so services that she has had to be notified as well as the post office, etc.
Friday my Wife gets a call from the surgeon telling her that the Cancer had spread and that there were complications. My Wife lets this go on a while before asking, who are we talking about again? My Mother broke her hip. The doc says OMG this isn't your Mothers chart. My Wife was relieved that it was "just" a broken hip.
Friday I go to work and talk to my Wife on and off about traveling to CT. to see her Mother and make further arrangements. Then at 4PM it hits me. I look at my Boss and co-workers and say I’m not feeling well. I feel like I’m going to yack and I don’t want to do it here. So I drive home all the while thinking, don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t do it. I think for sure that there will be some clean up involved shortly but I make it home without incident. Some time goes by and at 7PM it starts. I’m not going to go into details but let’s just say that I was not as lucky this time. THERE WAS CLEAN UP INVOLVED. I could not get warm enough. I was fully dressed with four comforters on me and I was still shaking like a leaf. I was sick for two days. I lived on saltines and ginger ale. The funny thing about it is that I lost 15 pounds over the weekend. All water so I’m sure most will come back. I slept sitting up on and off till Monday morning.
But back to my Mother in law. She needed to be moved to a rehab center after they repaired her fractured hip. The ambulance company wanted $1000 to move her to the rehab center. She doesn’t have it. We’re dropping $100 large on our house this summer so I couldn’t swing it either so we decide to transport her ourselves. The doc says that this will work so we go with it. Thing is that we’re in Mass. and she’s in CT. so we wait all of Monday for the call to pick her up. It never comes. Finally Tuesday we get the call and drive two hours to CT.
We get to the hospital and go to get on the elevator when we hear this over the intercom. “Code 4 the hospital is under lock down.” What? Turns out someone had a gun out in lawyer’s office across the street. Go figure, someone was upset at a lawyer. The hospital was on lock down for hours. Finally we were able to get out of the there and get her to the rehab center. And so ends a long and disastrous weekend. So, if you ever ask me how my weekend went, careful. I might just tell you.
So Saturday night I went
out to Henry's to have a few pops and ended up an Irish pub for a night
cap. I was with someone that I'm not going to Rat out because it's
a huge part of the story. If he wants to chime in, he will. Think about it. It
will hit you. For now, we'll call him "Rod"
As we decide to leave we
hear some drunk little bitty say "Hey, remember me? It's ASHLEY." To
some Dude she must have known. Rod tucks this nugget away and saves it for
later.
We see them leave when the
pub closes and we follow. At the moment I didn't know why but I was soon to
find out. Rod yells out "Ashley, remember me?" She looks at him
inquisitively and says "kind of." At this point I'm beside myself. I
can't believe this is working. The other chick she was with says "you
can't let her leave without telling her how you know her." Rod says
"come on, don't you remember me?"
So the one with her arm
around Rod screams out for everyone to hear,
"YOU'RE LIKE HER
FATHER!" Now I have to walk away because I'm laughing hysterically…..
You just can't make this
stuff up…..
Reposting so My Mom can read it all in one spot
<Set the stage>
It's Sunday approximately 11PM Pacific time. We all are smiling non stop because of the alcohol and the fact that "Da Crew" is back in action. Josh is on stage ripping it up. I'm standing by myself just thinking about how much fun I'm having.
<The story>
I turn around and realize that Jr. Seau is standing right behind me. I mouth to myself "Mother******, that's Jr. Seau. His Handler realizes that I know who he is and flies over to me telling me that he's trying to keep it on the DL because they're all a little buzzed. I'm thinking "who the @#$@# isn't." But, I respect their wishes and say "No worries, not a word." his handler looks at me and says "where ya from?" I tell him that I'm from the Boston area and he almost loses his mind. He says "Jr loved playing in N.E. Do you want to meet him. I laugh and say "WTF do you think?" He brings me over to him. I shake his hand while his handler tells him where I'm from. He goes on for 5 minutes about loving N.E. and how he appreciated the knowledgeable fans. I'm happy as a pig in....well you know the rest.
I leave, content in what just made my night (any time there's a good story, my night is made:). Rich, Mott and Josh came over asking, Hey were you just talking to JS? With a big grin I say yup:) Then Rich starts to tell me about his Line Backer son (which at the moment I had forgotten). Then it hits me. I say hey Rich, want me to get his autograph? he says sure!
I walk over and ask his handler if it was cool. He gets him to sign it. I pass it on to Rich and we then proceed to laugh the rest of the night away.
I have to mention that I'm writing this at 1:17 AM Tuesday morning after another night of "adult beverages" so if I've rambled, fumbled or stumbled I apologize.......
Just reposting one of my adventures so my Mom can go to one spot to read of our exploits:)
This was written by Josh Searles (hope I've spelled your name right)
Chapter 1 – The beginning
It's Sunday afternoon, somewhere around the 4 or 5 hour. Myself, Henry, Paul, Rich, and Mott met in the lobby of the hotel, so we could ride to a Mexican joint for lunch. The door man at the hotel informed us that it was against the law for 5 people to ride together in a 4 passenger cab, so it was tough to find a cab to take us to the old town Mexican restaurant. Henry sat in the front, and from left to right in the rear, it was Paul, Me, Rich, and Mott. The cab ride there was uneventful, (other than my bony a$$ sitting on Paul's right thigh) we ate, downed 2 pitchers of margarita's, and realized that we no longer had a nice hotel doorman to find us a cabbie that was willing to break the law so that we could all ride together.
Chapter 2 – Hailing a cab
Somehow Paul was designated the official cab hailer, (he's easier to spot with the big head). The first cab to pull over and offer us a lift was a smaller cab than the one that brought us here. Paul approached the driver's side window, and informed the cabbie that there were 5 of us, the cabbie took one look at his potential cargo, and said no way. The second cab hailing was much like the first however this one left some rubber in the road when he saw the rag tag group of 5 that wanted a ride in his cab. After about 6 different cab drivers telling us that there was no way they could take all 5 of us, Paul made a phone call to a cab company, and asked them to send a cab that would haul 5 people…
Chapter 3 – The arrival
Standing on the sidewalk admiring all of the "scenery", we waited patiently for the new cab to arrive. Soon an eager young man pulled up and after a little confusion, we determined that this was in fact the cab that Paul had called for. None of us are sure exactly what the cab drivers real name was (I think he's related to Sean, or is possibly a follower), so henceforth, he will be known as Mario. We all piled into the caprice like taxi. We had the same seating arrangements as the arrival however for some reason, we couldn't get the right rear door shut. It had something to do with Mike's right butt cheek actually hanging out the door. After coaxing a passer by on the street to help us out, and convincing them that no one in the back seat would get hurt if he just slammed the door shut, he gave in, and our fate was sealed…
Chapter 4 – The insult
We were no more than 5 blocks from the restaurant where the evening's bounty was consumed, when Henry leaned over and asked the cab driver, and I quote: "It stinks in here. What's that smell?" With the silence in the cab that followed, we were all sure that Mario was offended. It was at least 2 minutes before anyone asked him if he was okay, and that Henry meant no offense, and we were sorry if he was offended. Mario took it in stride and let us know that if he was offended he would have told us. As we merged onto I-5 we told him that he was welcome to kick Henry out of the cab if he wanted (it would have made more room), at which point Henry opened his door and acted like he was going to jump out. We all laughed, and the conversation seemed to turn much more jovial, and the mood in the cab lightened. Mario was starting to like us. Then it happened….
Chapter 5 – 7 Red lights
For those of you who don't know the layout of the San Diego Convention Center, there are 2 sets of Train/Trolly tracks that run parallel to the street that the convention center and hotel are on. We were two blocks away from the convention center, and one block away from crossing the railroad tracks, when the lights on the railroad crossing arms started to flash. Now, I've always been taught that the flashing red lights on the crossing arms were to warn you that there was a train coming. I learned this fateful Sunday however, that those flashing red lights are actually a warning that if you are riding in a cab, your cab driver is about to pass out toilet paper, so that you can clean yourself up after he's done "outmaneuvering" the train. In the flash of a camera, our nice happy, laughing cab driver Mario turned into Satan's official chauffer. Without breaking, in fact he was accelerating, he took the first left before the railroad tracks, and skidded to a stop at the red light one block away. He then informed us that the train was going to take 3 minutes to pass, and he was attempting to beat it. Mott was a little concerned at the first left turn, because as you may recall, we needed an innocent bystander to force the rear right door shut. When the cabbie jerked the wheel, screeched the tires and fishtailed around the first corner, the right rear door started to creak under the stress of 4 grown men sliding into it. Mario decided early on (even before he picked us up) that he had broken the law (only supposed to be 4 of us in the cab), so he apparently didn't care how many other laws he broke. Our first red light. We went through it, and each one of us looked like the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleading squad flashed us. Our eyes were the size of golf balls. We couldn't believe it. The light hadn't turned green, however Mario was accelerating through it as if it had (perhaps we all developed a sudden case of color blindness). Then weaving in and out of traffic driving away from the train at this point, Mario ran 3 more red lights. It's difficult to explain them at this point, because after the second one we were all in scared for your life laughing mode. Yes, we had the midnight giggles because we all realized what was happening, and that we had absolutely no control over the situation. The 5 th red light was another left turn onto a 4 lane road, and yes there was traffic coming. I saw a ford explorer to our right, and I did close my eyes, because I thought for sure it was going to smash Henry into oblivion, it was also this point when Mott decided that he no longer trusted the door, and begged me to hang onto his hand just in case the door flew open. Take a moment here and get a good picture in your mind: 4 grown men in the back seat laughing hysterically, holding hands, and sitting on each others laps while Henry is sitting comfortably in the front seat banging on the dashboard.
Chapter 6 – Road hazards
Our 6th red light was my favorite. Were on a 4 lane road, two way street, and there are two cars ahead of us (one in each lane) waiting patiently for the red light to change. Mario however at this point had no patience. He straddled the dotted white line inching up to the bumpers of the two cars, pressed his hand to the horn on the steering wheel, and screamed at the top of his lungs "Move FU#$ERS!" At which point the nice patient people parted ways to give us just enough room. A few more twists and turns, and we came to a stop sign, which we will consider our 7 th red light. This was quite possibly the most surreal moment of the whole cab ride. About 3 minutes before we got to this particular intersection, there was a sweet old man who had decided to take his dog for a walk. I'm sure if he knew what his fate was about to become, he would have decided to stay home instead, but it was just too nice a day. We rounded our last turn onto the street with the stop sign, and it was at this particular moment that the elderly man's best friend decided that it was time for a bowl movement. Yes we were racing to a stop sign that had an old man walking his dog, who had decided to take a $h!t in the middle of the road. Mario at least had the decency to honk his horn and warn the old man that we were coming through, and that he had no intention of stopping. After we cleared the 7 th red light (actually a stop-sign) the railroad tracks were once again in sight. And much to our amazement, they lights were not flashing. We had done it (or rather Mario had done it) we had survived a trip through hell driven by Satan's personal chauffer, and beaten the 30 minute train. There was much rejoicing! Cheers could be heard throughout the back and front seat, many high fives were given, and Mario's head was rubbed in praise.
Chapter 7 – It didn't have to be.
Our senses heightened from the moments of sheer terror that we had just experienced, someone spotted the train that we had raced, our rival, our arch enemy, the evil villain. None of us could believe it when we saw it, that monster of a train. The mother of all trains, the bane of our existence for the last 5 minutes, the 30 minute long train that we would have still been waiting for had Mario not decided to risk all of our lives. Yes we began to count the cars on the train. The first an engine, the second another engine, the 3rd a tanker, the 4 th a tanker, the 5th a tanker, the 6th …. "There's only 5 CARS!!" It was a 3 minute train! We had risked our lives, our manlyhood on a train that was only 3 minutes long. It took us longer to drive through 7 red lights in downtown San Diego than it would have taken us to sit patiently and wait for the train to run it's course. Once again there was much laughter in the car, Henry once again started beating on the dashboard, and the cabbie had to ask him to stop for fear of deploying the passenger airbag. Fortunately we all arrived safely at our hotel, and made sure to get Mario's business card…..
THE END
So I’ve read a lot of stories about flights home from San Diego. I had a funny story about my flight although not as crazy as some.
I got in a cab with Lemons and Da Don. We had so much stuff with us that one suitcase and a box of swag that Lemons had went in the front seat. We had to make sure that the cabbie shut the passenger window so the stuff wouldn't fall out. We got a block from the hotel and I turned around to realize that the trunk was open. The three of us had the “oh no not again” look on our faces. We had already had a most adventurous cab ride in SD. The cabbie pulled over to shut it and promptly took off again. We drive another block and it pops open again. There’s no way we can get anything else in the cab so the cabbie had to get the trunk shut. He pulled over again and finally got it shut. I think it was the same tourist that helped us shut the door in Old Town that that sat on it to shut it.
I got to the airport Saturday an hour and a half before my flight. Only to find out that my flight was delayed. I get in line to check my bags because I desperately wanted to unload them. I get almost to the front when an employee yells out “if you’re flight’s been delayed and you have to grab another flight, you need to leave this line and get in that one" (pointing to the other longer line). I reluctantly move to the other line only to realize when I looked back that I was the only one to move. Right then and there I looked in a virtual mirror and saw a rather large “L” on my forehead. I submitted. I wasn’t moving again. Well I should have because the line I used to be in moved twice as fast as the one I was in.
I get to the front of the line where the attendant told me that the flight was going to be on time. I think great! At this point I just want to get home. I check my bags and get in the longest security line I’ve ever seen. It looped around and went down some hallway. I’m thinking, now that the flights on time, I’m going to miss it. Fortunately the line moved quickly.
So now it starts to get interesting. Apparently they told the crew that the flight was going to be delayed, SO THERE WAS NO CREW! So the flight’s delayed again. Two hours later they find a crew (feeling really confident now….not). At this point it hits me that I had a two hour layover in Phoenix and my flight was delayed two hours. You do the math. To make matters worse I’m in the last row of the plane. This will become very important later.
The flight to Phoenix was uneventful. We land and the pilot makes an announcement that if you don’t have a connecting flight please stay seated so that those that do can get by. Now I have a glimmer of hope. I stand and proclaim “I HAVE A CONNECTING FLIGHT.” Most of the passengers turn around and chuckle “SO DO WE.” #$&(*#$#$(!!!! One of them asks what gate I have to get to. I tell him and he laughs while saying, you might as well sit. There’s no way in h3ll you’re making your flight. It’s 2:55 and you have a 3:02 flight. That’s not how we roll (I think). I’m making that flight.
So I make my way to the front of the airplane and fly to the gate. I start running like O.J. Simpson in that 70’s commercial, jumping over chairs, bags and people if they were in my way. I spot one of those carts that they shuttle people around in and run alongside asking “Where ya going?” “Terminal A” the guy says. Without asking I jump on in stride. I say “Me too” The people that were on the cart look at me like I just stole their newspaper from their driveway three days in a row. Not that I’ve ever done that. Just sayin:)
I swear that some people are just stupid. They stand in the middle of a walkway starring and drifting off into space while we scream and beep the horn. Mott knows where they're from:)
So we start to pass my gate so I jump off without giving the guy a chance to stop. Now I’m standing in front of my gate and notice that the door is shut! I scream out “I’ve got to get on that plane!” They say “who are you?” I scream out GONZALEZ! At this point I’m huffing and puffing with sweat dripping down my face. They say, “We’ve been waiting for you.” They open the door. I believe this is against FAA regulations but I’m not complaining. As I run past them I yell out, “My Daughter thanks you!” and then find my seat. Everyone is now staring because I think I’ve held the flight up. The people behind me are talking about me in a loud Boston accent. I stand up and give them the evil “Da Don” look. They hush. The veins in my neck are popping out. I’m not even playing.
That flight was pretty uneventful as well. I land in Logan and go down to baggage claim not even thinking that my stuff will be there. I’m the last man standing, feeling like the last kid picked in a dodge ball game. Remember if you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a ball.
My stuff showed up Sunday morning which ended a “Most excellent adventure.”
The $4,000 tee shirt
The “Pack of Wolves that I hung out with last week decided to go to a club that featured a Metal cover\tribute band (I think:). It’s not really my thing but I like to think that I have an open mind when it comes to music. After all I spent the early 80’s in Boston at Berklee playing anything from Jazz to Funk to Led Zeppelin and everything in between. So we took the $50 van ride to Pacific beach where the club was. Much to our surprise the line was out the door and around the corner. So, we waited. And waited. And waited. “Da Don” finally got to the front of the line only to find out that he (we) can’t get in.
It turns out that if you’re wearing a plain white tee shirt you can’t get in. IT’S PART OF THE DRESS CODE. A dress code at a metal club. Who knew? He tried explaining that it was a Calvin Klein $38 tee shirt. Also he had a really nice sweater over the top of it. You couldn’t even really see the tee shirt. They didn’t care. We pulled ourselves out of the line to discuss the situation. I personally wanted to see who they let in and what they were wearing. Sure as I’m sitting in my foo foo chair the next guy in line had a white tee shirt on with a skull and cross bones on it. I scream out “what’s up with that.” The POS at the door points out the dress code and tells us that, that shirt is OK. What?
Why not just tell us that you don’t want the old guys in the club. We ponder for a couple of minutes there in the street thinking to ourselves…….what just happened?
We notice another club across the street and decide to give it a try since we just spent the money on the van and we had a ton of people with us including the Intellinet crew. The guy at the door knew exactly what happen and called the other guy across the street a d**K.
What a great decision staying was. The club was awesome. It had a couple of pool tables, decent music (Henry hated it:) and a ton of people. What a show, if you like people watching. That’s the place where the two ladies were going at it. Man that was funny. So the $4000 tee shirt you ask? Well when we first told the story the shirt was $50. The next time it was $65. Eventually it got to $100 at which point we realized that this was hysterical (to us anyway). Prior to the $100 mark we weren’t exaggerating on purpose. Once we hit $100 for the tee we just got carried away. By the time we told the story for the last time it was a $4000 tee shirt. Probably one of the most expense tee’s ever, although Liberace had some killer tee’s:)
You know there’s something about the people that I’ve met at the last 5 MMS’s that I haven’t been able to really explain until I recently gave a it a bit of thought. It took math to help me figure it out.
I don’t really go out much. I haven’t since we had our Daughter 8 years ago. It’s not even that I’ve been yearning to go. I’d much rather be cuddled up in front of a fire, at a Red Sox game or camping with my family. So, it’s not like I sit around thinking “Oh I wish I could go out on Saturday night.” I don’t even drink when I’m home. I buy a case of beer for the holidays and have most of it left over on Easter.
I don’t even really have many friends. I have people that I hang out with at functions every few years or so but other than my camping buddy’s not many others. My Wife always laughs because I don’t go out. She goes out every now and again and if we go somewhere I always drive so there’s no “partying” from my end there.
Then I signed up for the myITforum SMS list. From there I heard about and went to my first MMS in 2003. I can’t remember if it was at Mandalay Bay or the Venetian, but it was definitely in Vegas. In fact it was my first time in Vegas. I didn’t know anybody so I never left the hotel. That’s right. I went to sessions, the myITforum party and basically spent the time in my room. I attempted to meet Rod but he was swarmed by a crowd every second I was at the party so I didn’t bother to approach him. Of the conference I thought “great content, I may do this again.” Since I spent most of the time in my room I wasn’t so sure though. If you’re reading this and you did the same thing, SNAP OUT OF IT. INTRODUCE YOURSELF!
Then I went in 2004. I’m not sure who introduced me to Mike Mott (AKA “Da Don”) or if I just started talking to him but we kind of hit it off and the Pfizer crew let me hang with them. I guess I was the comic relief:) Through them I met Josh (AKA PBaby) and Rich Wood (AKA Lemons). Now the crew has grown to a pack of wolves but back to the math.
My closest friend Steve (you don’t know him) is my camping buddy and as such I see him and his family at best 3-4 times a year. Our memories go back to High School marching band and he was also my roommate at Berklee in the early 80’s. There’s a lot of history and many party’s there. I actually did drink then.
Then you take the pack of wolves that I’ve hung out with at the last 5 MMS’s. Some have only been there for a couple of years and some for the time that I’ve been there. I hang with them 5-7 times a year all in week’s time. There’s drinking, laughing, jokes and many, many stories. These are some of the nicest people that I’ve ever met in my life. I see them more than my closest friends and we have more stories and crazy things happen to us in a small amount of time than my closest friends. I’ve come to the realization that these ARE my closest friends. I actually care what happens to them and their families.
Rod, you’ve really done something here with myITforum that you should be proud of. IT truly is a “community” that cares about helping people. I’m not really sure what my career would be like without myITforum but I’m glad I don’t need to know.
I’m not sure how long this is going to last as budgets are always getting clipped, people leave companies or change responsibilities, (Heck, I’m not even really an SMS Admin) but if any of them ever need me for anything at all, I’m there. Sorry for being long winded but this is something I’ve needed to say for a long time. Thanks for the memories……..Tada!
PG
No childrens! I'm not talking about Christmas (although that's a great time too). I'm talking about the age old rivalry between The New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox. Tonight's game features Josh Beckett with a 3-1 record and a 4.86 era vs. Randy Johnson, who sports a 5-2 record and a 5.02 era. On the surface it feels like this will be Beckett's coming out party but Johnson has been a Sox killer of late. He was 5-0 last year against my beloved Red Sox. Tomorrows game features Curt Schilling, 5-1, 3.02 ERA vs. Mike Mussina, 5-1, 2.35 ERA and Thursdays game features Tim Wakefield, 2-4, 3.97 ERA vs. Shawn Chacon, 4-1, 3.94 ERA. Get your beer and snackage because It looks like it's going to be an interesting few days!
If you're even a "remote-peripheral"
Prince fan you have to pick up his latest CD, 3121. It's Prince at his best. He
mixes nasty funk cuts with some nice ballads. The CD hasn't seen its cover
since it was purchased about a month ago. It opens with the title track and
works its way through 10 more awesome tracks until it ends with "Get on the
boat" a jazzy (for lack of a better word) funk jam complete with horns and
percussion. If you have one ounce of style (just kidding) check it out!
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000E97HIA/102-4876899-4210535?v=glance&n=5174
I spent the last two weeks in April in San Diego.
The first Week I spent with my family on vacation. The second was at
the 2006 Microsoft Management Summit. I snapped a ton of pictures and
thought that I'd share. The first link will take you to the MMS pics
and the second are from my family's vacation. I hope that you enjoy
them as much as I did taking them.
http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j121/pgonzalez4/Pauls%20Pics/MMS%202006
http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j121/pgonzalez4/Pauls%20Pics/San%20Diego%202006/