Don Hite at myITforum.com

50 Bart Simpson Blackboard Quotes

• A belch is not an oral report
• A booger is not a bookmark
• A burp in a jar is not a science project
• A trained ape could not teach gym
• Beans are neither fruit nor musical
• Beer in a milk carton is not milk
• Class clown is not a paid position
• Coffee is not for kids
• Dodgeball stops at the gym door
• Fire is not the cleanser
• Fish do not like coffee
• Five days is not too long to wait for a gun
• Fridays are not "pants optional"
• Funny noises are not funny
• Garlic gum is not funny
• Goldfish don't bounce
• I am not Charlie Brown on acid
• I am not here on a Fartball scholarship
• I cannot hire a substitute student
• I did not win the Nobel Fart Prize
• I have neither been there nor done that
• I will not charge admission to the bathroom
• I will not conduct my own fire drills
• I will not flush evidence
• I will not hide the teacher's medication
• I will not snap bras
• I will not speculate on how hot teacher used to be
• I will not spin the turtle
• I will not tease Fatty
• I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call
• I will only provide a urine sample when asked
• I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist
• I won't not use no double negatives
• Loose teeth don't need my help
• My butt does not deserve a website
• My pen is not a booger launcher
• Nobody likes sunburn slappers
• Poking a dead raccoon is not research
• Pork is not a verb
• Rudolph's red nose is not alcohol-related
• Sandwiches should not contain sand
• Silly String is not a nasal spray
• Spitwads are not free speech
• SpongeBob is not a contraceptive
• Teacher was not dumped -- it was mutual
• Temptation Island was not a sleazy piece of crap
• The giving tree is not a chump
• The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee
• There was no Roman god named "Fartacus"
• Vampire is not a career choice