October 2006 - Posts
Why have I never heard of Kaki King? This girl is amazing. A fret-tapping marvel if you will.
This young lady from (Atlanta) Georgia is not only talented but her melodies and ability to dance on the fret board are truly hypnotic (Check – Doing the wrong Thing – for clarity).
Publicly (rather exposure) she’s been around for 3 or 4 years but I’ve never heard of her until tonight.
Piece of hers I heard was Playing with Pink Noise a stripped down circular slap-bass teqniquish fret dance. Upbeat, jumpy and scattered are the only way I can describe this piece. But as negative as “jumpy and scattered” may sound – I assure you, I am not being negative. Check it out – if you like funky jazzy numbers – I think you’ll like it.
Anyway, I am feverishly listening to/watching her music right now and am pretty sure I will be checking her out some time in December.
If she’s coming near you, I’d recommend you do the same.
- In 20 minutes your blood pressure will drop back down to normal.
- In 8 hours the carbon monoxide (a toxic gas) levels in your blood stream will drop by half, and oxygen levels will return to normal.
- In 48 hours your chance of having a heart attack will have decreased. All nicotine will have left your body. Your sense of taste and smell will return to a normal level.
- In 72 hours your bronchial tubes will relax, and your energy levels will increase.
- In 2 weeks your circulation will increase, and it will continue to improve for the next 10 weeks.
- In three to nine months coughs, wheezing and breathing problems will dissipate as your lung capacity improves by 10%.
- In 1 year your risk of having a heart attack will have dropped by half.
- In 5 years your risk of having a stroke returns to that of a non-smoker.
- In 10 years your risk of lung cancer will have returned to that of a non-smoker.
- In 15 years your risk of heart attack will have returned to that of a non-smoker.
I’ll be right back, I’m gonna go catcha smoke.
Being my mother’s son, and following her example, I am trying to find whatever positives I can in my life right now.
Sure, it’s difficult. One second I may be doing fairly well. The next second I may me a blubbering mess. All I can do is try to keep moving forward. To be there for my children, my wife, my brother and sister, for everyone who’s life that was touched by my Mother (and that’s a LOT of people).
The only words I have been able to come up with lately in regards to how I am dealing with the incredible loss is “Life on Life’s Terms” and that what every thing is. Every breath we take and every task we take on is in fact life on life’s terms.
However, it does not need to be as cut and dry, as dead endish as it sounds. Life is to be lived. It is to be enjoyed. Saying life on life’s terms (to me) means there is nothing we can do about the loss of loved ones (even ones so dear).
The only thing we can do is, love them, cherish and hold close their memory – the memories we made with them and allow ourselves to grieve.
Grief is an interesting beast. It goes by no set time line or any hard and fast rules. It just IS. My grieving over the giant hole in my life that is my mother’s passing may last only one more day or another 6 years. I don’t know.
The only thing I do know is - I will never stop loving her. I will never stop missing her and my life, and the lives of those in my family, will never completely be the same as it was before.
I am coming to find admitting to myself that our lives will in fact never be the same may in just be part of my grieving process – part of my admission that, no matter how much I want her back, I will never hear my mother’s angelic voice again, never feel her incredibly warm hug nor hear her light up when she says “Hi’ya Pal!” to my son.
I know, I said at the start of this post that I was trying to be positive. Well, I didn’t lose track of that. There are indeed some positive things (and people ) in my life right now.
One thing is – the incredible generosity of the people I work with. I have been fortunate over the last (almost) 8 years to work for a great company. The owner, in addition to the President of the company, takes great care in making sure their people are taken care of. While I have always known that I work with a fantastic group of people, in addition to how great the owner and President are, I was reminded in an incredible way earlier this week.
Not only did the people I work with (some that are even new hires and barely know me) took up a collection to give to my family with the notion that we would donate it to a cause we saw fit. But, after they had presented me with this incredible gesture, the next day someone came up to me and said “I totally flaked on contributing to the gift and I’d like to give you this to go along with the rest of it” and handed me another $40. Bringing the total to $965.00. That is an incredible gesture of kindness and support from a group of people. Their kindness and goodwill has already been passed along to The Trinity Hospice Care Foundation.
Also positive in my life right now is the amount of support my entire family has been receiving from not just one another but from friends and associates all over the world.
Take the extraordinary people here in the myITforum community for instance. While I have been (in one way or another) associated with this community for the last 6 years or so – I’ve only actually met (face to face) a limited number of people. Sure, I have had private and personal (as well as professional) conversations with a good deal of them but you understand what I am saying. I have received so many phone calls, letters, text messages and emails from people here offering their support and heart felt care I am (it’s rare, I know) left speechless at how magnanimous you all are.
My children, the ever present source of positive energy in my life, have been an absolute foundation and source of love and positive nature through all of this. My mother lives on not only in the memories of those of us that loved her but most definitely in the lives of those that meant the very most to her – her grandchildren. Case in point – when I had the final “talk” with my son and daughter about MoMo (my mother) dying there were (obviously) lots of tears involved. In the middle of it all my son (in true fashion of how my mother lived her life in regards to putting the thought of others before herself) – my son walked out of the room and on his way out said” You need a tissue Daddy, you’re crying. I’ll get you one.” He walked out got me a tissue, came back in and handed it to me then put his arms around me. That entire gesture was, without a doubt, my mother incarnate.
In closing, I know I’ve rambled here; I’d just like to say this. I appreciate each and every person’s words (and silence) and gestures of kindness and support in this incredibly surreal time in my life.
Where do you turn when the one you turn to is gone?
Who will hold you and hug the pain away while telling you “It’s ok honey. It’ll be alright”, when the one who always did that is gone?
This week, the bravest person I have ever known or heard of passed away.
My Mother, Lynda Ann (Devlin) Magarity – Grandmother, Mother, Sister, Wife, and Friend left this world at a far too young age of 58 years old. She battled cancer for 7 years. Never giving in – never allowing it to bring her down – always standing firm on the idea of “not letting this disease be intrusive on my life”.
If she loved you – it was all the way – there was no middle ground with my mother. If you were in her way (or the way of one of her loved ones) you were about to experience something you’d never experienced before. The wrath of a woman that believed you were infringing on the happiness of people she cared about. . . . . . . and that was not a position you wanted to be in, believe me.
My mother has always been the kind of person that simply SHINED when she was doing something for or with the people, she loved. Whether that was; sitting on the beach in Sea Isle City talking about the crazy things that make up the journey of life that is my family, or talking on the phone at 11:30 at night with my brother about nothing and everything just laughing away, or lining up details with my sister about where she was taking Jordan and Casey for the upcoming special trip or on the phone with my son and daughter talking about what they did that day.
The list could get very long very quick. But, suffice it to say, my mother enjoyed a great many things – but most of all she loved LIFE and living it with a passion most of us will never be able to understand. Life is to be lived and enjoyed and shared with those you love. Never allow anyone to dictate the path you take. Always follow your own path. If there is no path then blaze a new trail. THAT is who my mother will always be in my mind an in my heart.
58 years is far too brief a period on this earth. Especially when you are someone that brings so much love and happiness to so many people. The only thing that helps me get passed the pain of my children (Santino (6) and Hannah (4)) and my nephew (Luca (4) and niece (Summer 3 mos)) knowing her such an unfairly brief period is that they will have countless stories and tales of my mother from so many people.
I am grateful that so many of us were able to be by her side as she left this world. While we that were there were a fraction of the people that loved her, I know it comforted her on some level to see the ones she loved and to share a few more memories with them.
And to Cora Spenser, the hospice nurse that helped my mother (and my family) in her final days, saying I am eternally grateful for your kindness is a gross understatement.
In lieu of flowers and cards, any donation you wish to make (large or small) can be made to the Trinity Care Hospice Foundation in my mother’s name. This is a special group of people (as are all hospice organizations) - they come into a situation that is filled with sadness and pain and they do everything in their power to make the situation as comfortable as possible for the patient and their families. At all hours of the day and night. They do this out of the genuine kindness in their heart.
Trinity Care Hospice Foundation
2601 Airport Drive, Suite 230
Torrance, CA 90505
Online donations may also be made via the following URL -Trinity Care Hospice Foundation
I love you Mom.
Bless you, Love you, See you in the morning.