July 2006 - Posts
So, here I sit – 7:23 in the morning on my vacation.
I’m on the couch – my daughter is lying next to me and my son is under a blanket on the loveseat – while my kids watch SHREK “quietly” as everyone else still sleeps away the early morning of what looks to be another perfect summer vacation day.
In a few minutes – I will find the energy to get up and make the long walk to the kitchen and start a pot of coffee. (I hear the light thumping of little feet coming up the stairs – it’s my niece Jillian coming up to sit and watch a show with her cousins and her Uncle Craig) When it’s finished, I’ll sit out on the deck, drink a cup of coffee and watch Sea Isle City come alive for the day.
Soon, my wife will stir and wake – followed by her sister and our brother in-law then ultimately their youngest (PJ) will awaken and join the crew upstairs.
Additional cups of coffee will be poured and consumed out on the deck in the morning sun. As Sea Isle gets a bit louder and the REALLY early birds begin their trek to the beach (with book, journal, or newspaper in hand) to sit for a while before the morning bunch starts to grow on the sand.
By this time – we’ll have had our fill or pre-breakfast coffee and make our way back inside to talk to the kids about “what we’re gonna do” at the beach today.
This is a cycle that runs every day, it’s GREAT and it’s exactly why I am not BLOGGING this week (well, not BLOGGING as much as normal anyway)
That's Right - No BLOGGING (other than right now) no office - no server room for two weeks.
I am down the Jersey Shore
So, Maxim published this list of who they believe to be the least funny and least “edgy” comedians of all time.
First of all, I need to quote a friend and say “The irony of Maxim magazine attacking someone for "thinking they're edgy" is so powerful it could destroy a million suns.” (quote credited to fellow FARKer Jimmyhaha)
Second this list, like so many BEST OF/WORST OF ALL TIME lists, is so subjective it’s ridiculous.
While some of the people on this list may not be active in comedy anymore, or past their “prime”, at least 6 of them are (or for a good stretch) very funny.
I dropped a link to the story but here’s the meat of the article (with my comments)
12. Carlos Mencia – While I do not like his Comedy Central show. . .his stand up (the no where near watered down stuff you get on his CC show) is very funny. Hardly a candidate for this list.
11. Christopher Titus – Not a big fan of his and that TV show he had (with Stacey Keach) stunk right out loud (IMO). So, ok, he belongs here
10. Judy Tenuta – Never a fan of this Rosanne Barr rip off – deserved of her residency on this list.
9. Kathy Griffin – More of a Humorist than a comedian in my book. I think she does a fine job with her one person shows.
8. Gallagher – Yeah, he sucks……next
7.Paula Poundstone – She has all but fallen off the face of the earth (other than when she got busted for driving her kids to school while drunk) but in the late 80s and early 90s she was touring everywhere and had two very funny HBO specials. I like her. Another misplaced resident on this list.
6.Sandra Bernhard – Another Humorist more than comedian in my book. While she’s not everyone’s cup of tea (too vulgar maybe?) – I think she’s funny.
5.Louie Anderson – No way he deserves to be on this list. Some folks don’t like how bitter he is about his upbringing – but I think he is and always has been hilarious. I’ve seen him live twice and left both shows sore from laughing. His HBO specials were also very funny.
4.Yakov Smirnoff - -Another deserved resident of the list. His Russian HAT is funnier than him.
3. Whoopi Goldberg – Maybe another one that hasn't done much recently – but she’s funny. She’s intelligent and has great delivery. Sure, she’s a FLAMING Liberal – but that’s ok – artists (for the most part) should be liberal – else we’d all be listening to Kenny G.
2.Margaret Cho – Another one that may not be doing a whole lot lately – but she’s hysterical as well. Every show of hers I’ve seen (live and HBO) have been funny. Never been disappointed by a Cho set.
1. Sinbad – Another one I do not believe belongs on this list. There is nothing wrong with a comedian that can make your sides hurt from laughing so hard without using curse words and racial humor.
STORY HERE
Did you ever have an idea in your head that you KNEW would be a good product/movie/TV show? The kind of idea that is in your head for years. You just don’t know where to turn first to have it come to fruition?
So, you sit (so to speak) on that idea and you think about it – you think how you can make your own idea better. How you can make it even more appealing to the “masses”. How you can market it and make a truck full of cash. The you open a magazine one day or turn on the TV or radio and BAM there is YOUR idea and someone else developed it first.
Well below you will find one of my ideas. . . . . well, maybe it’s not MY idea – but you know what I mean.
The HYANIDE is a motorcycle style snowmobile and I WANT ONE!!!
Sure, right now it’s only a scale (1/5) pre-production model and no one has it in production - - but I’m sure we’ll see it out in the snow soon. From what I have read – some of the Detroit based auto makers are taking notice of this project since they saw it at the Michelin Challenge Design
The tread consists of 77 (hard plastic covered with tire rubber) identical segments held together by Kevlar rope. Each segment flexes independently.
This theoretical vehicle would have a top speed of 85 mph, and could seat two. It would be powered by a 60hp 500cc liquid-cooled single-cylinder engine.
Every once in a while I find myself digging around for creative advertising campaigns (like the BULLET TIME IKEA ads). When I find something (or a few) that catch my eye – I pass them along.
Below are a few of my more recent finds.
Actual size front views of a MINI being used in Switzerland at subway station. Pretty creative if you ask me
FOLGERS Ad
Placed on top of steaming manhole covers around New York. Holes cut out of the photographs allow the steam from the manholes to rise through, created the effect of giant, steaming hot cups of coffee.
STRINGFELLOWS “Gentlemen’s Club” in Paris
WOW – – just WOW. I mean – we ALL have hobbies and things that capture our interests but all I can say is WOW.
I wonder exactly how much time some of these folks spent putting these costumes together. How much time they spend putting them on and just how excited they get after they are wearing them. “I can’t wait for everyone to see me”
Here are a few examples if you are eskeerd of going to the web-site.
Who Knew The Lord Of The Dance Was So Popular
It’s Shana – Protector of the BOLOGNA
Shana’s Arch Rival – Elaphantia
Hey Everyone – It’s Obi Wan KGHEY
Well, there go ALL of your father’s dreams of any of you being a professional ball player
This guy’s just phoning it in
STORY HERE.
The ever growing insistence on making a person, group of people or business responsible for another person’s actions not only never ceases t amaze me, but it annoys the crap out of me.
BAR OWNERS being held responsible for people leaving there establishment . . . . wait for it. . . . . . DRUNK. I mean come on. Next thing you’ll have someone suing McDonald's for burning themselves with hot coffee that they weren’t warned was hot. . . . . . .wait a minute.
STORY HERE.
So, last night I went to the movies with Jen. I’ve seen Superman Returns and I don’t really have an interest in seeing The Devil Wears Prada (even though I’ve heard it was actually pretty good.)
So, we saw Click and I gotta tell you I really liked it. I mean I am one of the knuckleheads that likes Adam Sandler’s movies anyway (except Spanglish – that just sucked) but this was either his best or second best movie yet, in my opinion. Running a race with 50 First Dates.
Now, before you start saying (in your head) What about Waterboy, The Wedding Singer, Happy Gilmore or Mr. Deeds? I am speaking about all around quality. Not only was this movie funny (much funnier than I expected) but Sandler’s acting was not only good – but he let go of the hibidy dibidy DOO nonsense in this movie. I don’t think there was one trademark Sandler noise in this movie.
In addition to his quality acting (that’s right I said it – but don’t blow a gasket – his acting was of a higher quality – but he is STILL Adam Sandler – I never compared him to DeNiro or Hoffman) – there were some great accompanying players as well. Players in addition to the cameos played by his friends (Rob Schneider and the gang) Christopher Walken , Henry Winkler, Julie Kavner (Marge Simpson) and Kate Beckinsale (whom I may just be in love with – don’t tell my wife) all did a great job.
PLOT LINE – BUT NO SPOILERS BELOW
The story is about a guy, Michael Newman, like most of us now days. A father and husband that works his tail off trying to provide for his family. Unfortunately while he’s working off his tail, he’s missing swim meets, and dance recitals, sleep overs and dinner with the family. To make matters worse – he’s got a boss (David Hasselhoff) that not only takes Michael for granted but also takes advantage of him.
After experiencing the proverbial last straw in regards to having no control over the things in his house (the TV, the ceiling fans, the garage door etc) as well as the things in his life, Michael storms out of the house in search of a Universal Remote. It’s late at night – and as he drives through the center of town cramming french fries into his mouth (fast food being a staple of his unhealthy diet) he sees that all the BIG BOX stores (Best Buy, Staples et al) are closed. So desperate to find a Universal Remote, he pulls in to the only open store he finds. A Bed, Beth and Beyond.
After searching the store and having no luck he enters a door in the back of the store marked BEYOND what he finds back there is a Doc Brown (of Back to the Future fame) type inventor who offers him salvation in the form of the remote he is looking for. This remote is SO advanced – it has no manual nor any need for one. It learns on it’s own from the patterns you set in your everyday use.
What follows is a series of funny experiments with the remote. Exacting a bit of revenge on the boss and the snotty kid next door, fast forwarding through fights with the wife, muting a barking dog and a whole lot more. What Michael doesn’t realize though is that the remote is still learning his patterns – soon he gets more than he bargained for (of course).
That’s all I’ll say about the plot line. The rest you’ll have to (and I recommend you do) see for yourself. The plot is easy to follow and obvious where it will turn but it is fun to go along for the ride. Even if you’re not a huge Sandler fan (and I know there are a lot of you out there) give it a shot. On a scale of 1 to 5 – — – I’ll give it three stars for over all fun. I’d say it’s no good for your kids under 13 or 14 due to some language and innuendo
I was up to my normal curious GOOGLING today and in my travels I came across some interesting stuff.
Below are some quotes of statements made by some pretty interesting sources pertaining to automation, data processing and computers in general.
Enjoy……………………
"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." --Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949
"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." --Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." --The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957
"But what ... is it good for?" --Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.
"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." --Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977
"640K ought to be enough for anybody." -- Bill Gates, 1981
Apparently, there is some growing concern amongst some MAC users about a “feature” bundled with OS X 10.4.7.
This “feature”, dashboardadvisory, evidently contacts Apple’s server to ensure the users’ widgets are all up to date.
If you give it some thought, it’s kinda like Microsoft’s Automatic Updates. . . . . no wait a minute – I can tell a system running a Microsoft OS to notify me when an update is ready, download and install an update or download and notify me when a new update is ready to install.
So, I guess it’s not like MS’s Automatic Update engine.
More on the story here
So, here’s an interesting use of the binary search capabilities offered by the Google search engine.
Websense has created new software tools that can sniff out malware using Google.
read more here
USB Missile Launcher
Forget shooting a rubberband at someone at the office – this joker will win many o’ battle
Wow – If I thought about it hard enough I may even be able to predict if there’s going to be a sunrise tomorrow
China and Russia resisted an attempt by the U.S., Japan, and Britain to impose sanctions against North Korea for its missile launches Wednesday, saying only diplomacy could halt the isolated regime's nuclear and rocket development programs.
STORY HERE
So let me get this straight. We’ve been unable to track down bin Laden for the last what, 10 years. But, all of a sudden we find him through Jordanian Secret Service and rather than punch his ticket – we make back room deals with him?
This woman must think the entire world is as stupid as she is.
Baghdad, Iraq (AHN) - The wife of al-Qaeda In Iraq's top leader, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, who was killed by U.S. forces, is now making stunning allegations that America learned of his whereabouts from none other than Osama bin Laden.
Al-Zarqawi's first wife tells an Italian newspaper, La Repubblica, that U.S. intelligence services made a deal with al-Qaeda's top leader to remove al-Zarqawi, in exchange for less pressure on bin Laden.
She says to the paper, "My husband has been sold to the Americans. He had become too powerful, too troublesome."
When asked how America got in touch with Osama bin Laden, she claimed Sunni tribes and Jordanian secret services mediated the deal.
credit to All Headline News staff writer Matthew Borghese for the story – found here
STORY HERE
Are ya KIDDING ME!? In a small town with a population of less than 900 people there is a baseball field that is being used for organized (by the town) baseball for the last 50 years and….
No…..wait a minute. .. . . .organized baseball WAS being played there until the people living next door to the field slapped an injunction on the town forcing them to shut down the baseball program until the town put up a higher fence to keep these people from getting baseballs on their property.
Sure, I can understand not wanting a busted windshield in your own driveway. I can understand not wanting your patio door broken. I can understand wanting to be able to go out into your own yard and NOT wanting to dodge fly balls.
There’s GOTTA be a better way than slapping an injunction on the town.
These people moved in next to a ball field, they took down a line of evergreen trees between their yard and the ball field.
Nothing like spitting in the collective faces of your new neighbors.
In a recent interview, Willis was asked about the potential heartache and worry he is encountering due to his daughters coming of age and dating (or beginning to date) and how he will respond to the would be boyfriends coming to take them out.
Willis responded “I'd just give them that look and say, I want you to return them in the same condition they left the house. I'd hate to have to beat you to death.”
STORY HERE
Interesting – I never knew you could “close” a state